How's it been going?

I’ve been in a long distance relationship for one month today.

I’d be a big fat liar if I said that it was easy.  Hard. Super challenging would be a better adjective. All the different methods of communication have helped tremendously but it certainly does not, in the least, take the place of your favorite person being right there next to you.

We do  video chat with face time, skype, and tango. All things that I must thank the Apple Corporation for creating applications for on all of their products. It’s too bad if one of the two people has a bad connection, you’re both screwed. Seeing each other face to face does give you that happy feeling though.

We text all day every day. Since he’s in the Navy and everything is super top secret, there are so many places that he cannot take his cell phone for obvious reasons. However, every single chance he gets to go use his phone, he is high tailing it to his phone to text me something even if it is something as small as how much he misses me. It sounds super petty, super corny, but whatever. I like it, and it helps so much at this point. I try to beat him to the punch and have some kind of random text or picture waiting for him as soon as he can check his phone at the next opportunity.  It’s like getting mail at home. Even the littlest thing kind of makes you a little happy on the inside. (Unless it’s a bill, then you’re more like eh, can we please return this to the sender?)

We talk as much as possible when he’s not working and when I’m not working. I get a wakeup call everyday (mostly to make sure that I actually got out of the bed to go to the gym), voicemails at lunch, and calls throughout the evening.

Saying that the two of us are trying our damndest to make this work would be a complete understatement.

Being in the profession that he’s in, he’s clearly been in this long distance “boat” before so he has told me numerous times, if you want out, please, let me know. I know it’s challenging and I’ll understand if you can’t do it anymore. Granted, quitting would be the easy way out. Going after some other random dude would be way easier, however, being with anybody else is not going to make me feel the way that I feel with him. So… long distance relationship it is.

There is always the brighter side though: the countdown on when you get to see them again! At this point, we’re looking at 1 week and 4 days! Friday, February 15, cannot get here soon enough!

If it was you in this situation, with this type of super long distance relationship, how would you be making the most of each moment together, or not together?

Don't be scared!

How often do you put yourself out there?

In life, yes, but more so in your dating life. Do you take chances? Do you try enough new things just to say that you tried it?

With my current boyfriend, I would definitely say that I put myself out there. We met 7 years ago. Basically, we overlooked each other and suddenly became a thing of the past, but for whatever reason, he never really left my mind. I always felt like he should see me one last time just so that I would know whether or not he and I were meant to be together.

What's the worst that could happen? We're not meant to be together and in the future I end up meeting someone that I was meant to be with, right? (Lucky for me, it worked out in my favor! Yippee skippee!)

I was thinking about how I took a chance, and put myself out there and how well it worked out for me. Then I wondered, how many women, choose to not  do that because they're scared. Sure, rejection is scary, but it's scary for everyone. It's a part of life, but, if you don't try something, you won't know the outcome .

I'm always an advocate for using your pretty. I can't even count how many times I've gone somewhere with my friends and we met some random guys at a bar or a restaurant etc and just strike up a random conversation. Normally, it's not a love connection, but who doesn't like good conversation and meeting new people... or even free food and drinks? Being a woman is super easy in that aspect as to where there is always some guy that is willing to pick up a tab for a pretty lady if she's just nice and fun to talk to.

I mean.. why not put yourself out there? What else do you have to lose? Don't be scared! Life is too short for that.

When was the last time you put yourself out there to meet someone or try something new?

Who is this dude?

Where did this guy even come from? I ask myself that question every single day!

In the summer, 7 years ago one of my girlfriends had a baby and I went to visit her in the hospital. When I walked in, my friend’s husband was in there with her and there was a tall, dark, and handsome man in there with them. I met him once, but remembered him forever. Later that year, we met up and talked once. We exchanged numbers and texted little to none and didn’t have any contact after that.

Even though we hadn’t spoken for years,  infrequently I would ask my girlfriend about him. (more so, just to find out if he was married or not, but that’s neither here nor there) This year, right before Christmas, I happened to ask about him and told her to pray that he could come home.  Christmas Eve I get a call from my girlfriend that he’s coming home and she’s going to host an early brunch so we can “run into” each other.

I’m super excited and I’m getting ready Christmas morning, and the next think you know, I find out that he’s not coming to brunch due to him and his family having family time. Ok. Cool. I said, ok. Maybe another time…Hopefully. I hear NOTHING. I told my girlfriend, I just need him to see me once and go on a date with him just once, so at least I know that I gave it a try.

New Year’s eve. I get a text message from him telling me hi and that he was going to call me this week, but that he just wanted me to save his number so that when he calls, I know it’s him.

He calls me last Wednesday. When we talked. It was like we picked up right where we left off. It was fun, it was easy, it wasn’t awkward, and we just talked about complete randomness. I was already smitten. Like I had been, for the past 7 years, from the initial meeting.  We talked the day after that and he told me, I want to see you. When can I see you? We ended up confirming for this past Saturday.

Saturday, we have our date. I scowered the city for an outfit. I didn’t want to be too sexy, because I wanted him to look at me, but pay attention to what I was actually saying.(thanks to a friend. I had sexy alllll in my thoughts initially!)  I saw him and he was just absolutely gorgeous. We went to Sushi Zushi and just had amazing conversation. We had so much in common and I was just liking him more and more. Afterwards we went to a nearby wine bar and just talked and talked some more. He surprised me and bought the bottle of wine that we both knocked all the way out together. Made out in the car on the way home and we’ve been inseparable all the way since.

Sunday, I met his parents and his sister and had family game night playing phase 10.  I still think his mother cheats! Then… Monday… he met my dad and some of my friends at an Alabama vs Notre Dame watch party. Every single night I was coming in late because I was him. 

Super exhausted at work all day everyday all week? Yes! Worked out one day this week? Yes! Ate unhealthy and greasy goodness all week with him? Hell yes! It was soooo worth it.

Trying my hand one more time at an LDR (long distance relationship), but it's just different this time. I'm not in college, I'm more mature, more patient, and more understanding. Most importantly, I have an income to actually work with this time to actually move about the cabin and have drinks. 

Cheers to me, moving on and finding what's really right and meant to be. 

Have you ever been in an LDR? How did it work out for you? Any suggestions on things to do... or not to do too?

What really just happened?

I think at this point, I’m in a state of shock. An overwhelming ball of emotion. 

IDK how on earth I ended up in a relationship last this week!

I know, This is the man that I prayed for. I asked God to send me a God fearing man, that came from a good family, was tall, dark, and handsome, and thought the world of me. I asked for God to send me an ambitious man that was focused, had an amazing work ethic, was goal oriented and would be a great provider for our family.  I prayed that he would be smart, good with money, has good relationship with his parents, and loves his mama.

This man is every single one of those things.

I think I’m a little bit in denial. I just got out of a totally horrible situation that was never going to work, that I thought I could make work because I wasn’t sure if I could do any better. Glad I was dead wrong. 

TP was not what I was praying for in the least. He was none of those things that I listed.

I know this is moving fast. He's just left today to go to a training in Virginia, but It just feels right. 

I don’t know what’s about to happen between us, as we are in a long distance relationship at this point, but it just feels right.

Have you ever been in a long distance relationship before? Any tips for me?

Into the New Year

Remember "the new guy" that I went on a date with, that went shopping with me right after the breakup?

How about, I haven't heard from him at all since our date! WTF is that about? He wont answer my calls or my texts. I let that situation go. In the words of one of my girlfriends, he was just a rebound guy anyway.

Everything is looking so much better!! I had an awesome New Year that I celebrated out of town. Of course TP still texts me once a week to "check" on me. How nice of him right? HA! What a jackass. I know he's doing that solely because he doesn't want me to get over him and his stupidity.

It's funny how you can think something is so wonderful and amazing and then you later realize how whack it really was in the first place. I hate to quote Beyonce but, "it sucks to be you right now!"

I do not do resolutions since I feel that resolutions are something that you should be doing in the first place. Instead, I do goal setting. As opposed to traditionally just writing down all of my goals, I create a vision board. As your goals will probably change throughout the year as you accomplish them, so does your vision board. I've been thinking about everything that I want to accomplish this year and I've been frantically flipping through magazines trying to get it together! As soon as it's completed, I'll have to post a picture! I think one of the most of important goals I have for the new year is to practice having patience. I always always always, want what I want, the moment that I want it, completely disregarding how there is a work in process with everything. Nothing in life is really instant. That's my goal for sure for this year. Hell. for the rest of my life.

Do you believe in resolutions? Why or why not? Do you prefer goal setting?

Is it really real?

After learning through experience, I have found that it is best to keep my opinions to myself unless I am specifically asked for them. Even when I am asked for my opinion, I should tone it down as much as possible, since most people really don't want your opinion, they actually just want to you to agree with whatever poppycock they are spouting at the moment.

I know a woman that is dating this man. As it has been relayed to me, the man is separated from his wife. In reference to the separation, he has told her that the entire marriage was a mistake and he got her pregnant on accident, but he loves his son. They are separated, however, he has not filed for divorce nor separation. (Does that mean they are just "verbally" separated?) He supposedly  is concerned with the custody of his child as he knows that it is going to be a custody battle. He no longer lives with his wife and has his own house and lives alone.

When she asks about filing for divorce and how it's going, he gets an attitude. When she finally asks him, how soon after the divorce do you think that we will get married,  his response was, well, we would really have to get to know each other and then go from there. (They've been dating for two years. How well do you they really need to get to know each other?)

She stopped seeing him and then started seeing him again. She now claims they're like best friends. ( I was unaware that you had sex with your best friend) He does ignorant things to her like tell her go to hell etc just to get a rise out of her to see how she will react. She blows up his phone, they have it out, and then they are back to square one. Yet she still sticks around after all of this. Is that really how a friend treats a friend? She swears that he's the most real guy that she's met in this town. She swears she loves him, he loves her, and that he's the person that she's supposed to marry. What does love really look like?

I have a few questions: is he really going to divorce his wife or is it just cheaper to keep her? Is he stringing the woman along? Is she his mistress? He has been disrespecting her for the past two years by not even filing for divorce? Are they really dating since he is legally still married? What's really going on? Why hasn't she stopped talking to him?Why is he stringing her along as such.

Do you have any insight on this? I'm certainly confused and would like some clarification.

PS. no, this is most definitely not me.

Forgot to mention

I left out a very vital detail of my weekend. In an attempt to move past the intense emotional incapacitation (is that even a word?) from last week, I went on a date Friday night! It was a guy that I had been knowing a while, that apparently had been feeling me, so he invited me out. Even though, I was not remotely close to being ready to move on, I figured anything was better than sitting at home on a Friday night feeling sorry for myself and my lost love.

Since I had already  been knowing him, I allowed him to actually come to my house and pick me up. I never do that! Talk about a step in the right direction! He had only been to this area in Dallas called the Bishop Arts District once, so he wanted to walk around there and check other restaurants. We ended up going to one of my favorite places out there called Bolsa.

Now... this guy is very open. Open as in, he is open to trying just about anything once. Still unclear on what that means? Let me give an example. He was trying to encourage me to try ostrich meat. I don't even know where you find ostrich meat, but he went on and on about how good it was! When we were at Bolsa, and he wanted to try the rabbit sausage, I was not surprised! Because I'm a good sport, and I'm pretty open to trying almost anything new, I went for it. Was it nasty? Not at all. In all actuality, it was quite tasty. It looked and tasted like Eckrich turkey sausage. Go figure huh? ( I was glad too, since everyone swears that most "other" meats taste like chicken)

I think I was most excited that he was a wine drinker. As I have learned in the past, let the man do his thing and take control unless instructed otherwise, he picked a damn good Chardonnay!

The conversation was great and he certainly kept my mind off of TP for that evening.How about the next day, he met me for brunch and then volunteered to go Christmas shopping with me! I thought I was hallucinating! He was actually quite helpful too! I picked out some great  gifts for my family!

 I'm not healed from "him" but I feel like I am moving int he right direction with making sure I stay busy and meeting other people. I'm praying on forgiving myself for all the things that I didn't do so that the guilt won't eat me up, but to also forgive him for all the things that he did to me in the past. I never completely let that go, and I'm pretty sure that's a huge part of why he and I couldn't get too far.I think if I can forgive myself and him, a lot of the pain and sorrow would be alleviated.

Will I go out with this new guy again! I sure would like to!